Nowadays the topic of people being obsessed with their weight and their figure is very common. Certainly, our society is involved in facts that lead to an obsession with our body, such as, mannequines.
This problem can be caused by several factors: firstly fashion make feel uncomfortable if yours body is not like than of the models on you can not wear certain clothes. In adittion, store manenequins show the image of women who don’t represent reality and this can make women be obsessed with they body. Secondly, the image of the person has changed drastically in the last years. In the past being fat means that a person had a lot of money, to eat well, whereas now if you are overweight people laugh at you and driscriminate.
Thirdly, we find many cases of deseases realated to weight such as anorexia. Furthermore, the text says girls try to imitate models and fashion because they believe that is the perfect model to imitate, although we know that this model does not represent reality. All of these shows that our society is also obsessed with weight and fitness.
Alba Martínez Bartel 2nB
Hi Alba!
ReplyDeleteI completely agree with you!
I think you've committed some mistakes, for example in the introduction, I shouldn't have written a comma after "such as", only before it. when you say "yours body is not like than of the models on you can not wear certain clothes" you should have written:Your body and instead of writing "on" you should've written "or" or when you say "in the past... means..." you should have said "meant", because you're talking about the past! (I'm sorry for writing so many mistakes to you, but I only want to help you to improve your writings so that you can pass!)I can see another mistake, I think "deseases" is bad written, it should be "diseases".
the structure of your essay is correct, it has an introduction, a body and a conclusion!
Good Job!
you can comment my posts too!
bye, see you tomorrow in history exam!
I'm completly agree with you Alba, faishon is creating a world of complexes and it hurts to our society. I won't rate your level of faults because cristina have done it yet so lastly I will say that If I were the teacher I'll put you an 8!
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